In Dreams
by lahmrh
Summary: K/S. The ending of Requiem for Methuselah goes a little differently.


Author's Note: Written for angelus2hot for fandom_stocking.

**In Dreams**

Spock watches Kirk sleep, the words of moments ago still ringing in his head. _All of these things you'll never know, simply because the word "love" isn't written into your book._ Looking down at Kirk's still form, Spock almost wishes the doctor's words were true. Certainly his life would be immeasurably simpler if he did not love, if he did not feel every blow to Kirk as though it were his own.

It would be so easy to make Kirk forget, to take away his pain. Spock reaches out, his hand hovering over Kirk's face. It would be breaking a dozen different rules with regards to mental contact, but after bearing witness to Kirk's utter agony that seems like a small price to pay.

He hesitates for a moment longer, then presses forwards, fingers landing on Kirk's skin and searching for the meld points.

After so many melds he is able to slide into Kirk's mind almost effortlessly. Perhaps too effortlessly, for rather than searching through Kirk's memories as he intended, he instead finds himself viewing Kirk's current dream.

At first he thinks it _is_ a memory – Kirk is dancing with Rayna just as he did on the planet. Despite his best efforts Spock feels a stab of annoyance; he has already lived this scene once, he does not need to see it again. But slowly Rayna's features warp, her smile changing to a look of blank calmness, her hair becoming shorter and darker, her dress changing to the black and blue of a Starfleet uniform.

And suddenly Spock is watching _himself _dancing with Kirk, and Rayna is nowhere to be found.

He watches, frozen, as the dream Kirk smiles and moves in closer. "I love you," he tells the dream Spock, before kissing him gently on the lips.

Spock jerks away, out of Kirk's mind, and takes an actual physical step backwards. This cannot be true. Humans dream about all kinds of strange things, and Kirk has never shown any interest in anything besides friendship with Spock.

_But then_, Spock muses, _I have never given any indication I wish for more than friendship with him._

He hesitates, trying to decide what to do with this new information. If there is a chance his feelings are returned, shouldn't he attempt to act on them? What if he is wrong?

He hesitates a fraction too long, and is startled when Kirk shifts and sits up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He still looks tired, and Spock notes with a pang that his eyes are still dull with pain. "Spock?" he mumbles. "You're still here? How long was I out?"

"Just a few minutes," Spock tells him. "I was… considering whether to wake you." He reasons that it is not _entirely_ a lie.

Kirk blinks up at him. "I was dreaming about you," he says.

Spock's heart begins to pound. If he is ever going to make a move, this would be the time. "Yes," he says quietly. "I know."

Kirk goes very still. "What do you mean, "you know"?"

"I touched you and was inadvertently drawn in to your mind," Spock says. Another half-truth. He shrugs it off and continues, "I pulled back as soon as I realised, but not until I had already viewed part of your dream."

He expects Kirk to be angry, but instead he drops his head into his hands, looking even more defeated than he was before. "You saw us dance?" he asks wearily.

"And kiss. Yes."

"God." Kirk raises his head briefly from his hands. "This is a hell of a day, isn't it."

Spock surmises that the words are not actually meant as a question, and so ignores them. "You are attracted to me," he says, now more or less certain of it.

"Yes," Kirk says, with a touch of bitterness. "I suppose now you're going to tell me how illogical I am."

"Actually, I was going to tell you that I am experiencing similar feelings," Spock replies.

Kirk's look of amazement is rather gratifying. "Furthermore," Spock continues, warming to the subject, "since we both harbour romantic feelings, I believe acting on them would in fact be perfectly logical."

Kirk stares at him for a long moment, before his mouth curves wryly. "Well, far be it from me to argue with logic, Mister Spock." He yawns widely and adds, "I don't think I'm really in a fit state for anything right now, but how about dinner tomorrow night? My quarters."

"I look forward to it," Spock replies, letting his expression soften into a smile. "Goodnight, Jim."

There is still a hint of pain in Kirk's eyes, but Spock notes with satisfaction that his mood seems considerably improved. "Goodnight, Spock."

Perhaps love does have some advantages after all.


End file.
